An Abundance of Amys
by Forever the Optimist
Summary: The Doctor comes to visit the Ponds on a seemingly normal Bonfire Night, but, inevitably something starts to go wrong. When Amy starts splitting off into dozens of copies of herself, it is up to the Doctor and Rory to get her back to normal and save the world - or at least the UK.
1. The Doctor Drops In

"...and take the blankets, too," Amy Pond said to Rory, adding yet another blanket to the already impressive stack in her husband's arms.

"I still don't see why we've got to bring lawn chairs when we could just sit on these," Rory groaned, hefting his load and turning around to head out of their kitchen. "It's only a fireworks show, you know. It's not like we're going away."

" _Preparation,_ Rory," Amy said, giving him a little shove towards the door. "It's November, you know. It's cold. And what if the park's covered in spiders? You'd be glad we had more than blankets then, wouldn't you?"

"It's you who's scared of spiders, not me," he retorted, but quietly enough that she wouldn't hear. He opened the door carefully, his arms piled so high he was nearly unable to see where he was going. "Totally unnecessary," he muttered, feeling his way carefully down the sidewalk to where their car was parked. "There's absolutely no reason to have this much, and-"

"Ah, Rory Pond!" a voice exclaimed suddenly. Rory jumped, nearly dropping his load. "Wife giving you trouble again?"

Miraculously, Rory managed to open the car door and dump the blankets inside before turning around. "You know that's not actually my name."

"Of course it is," the Doctor said, beaming. He was leaning on the side of the TARDIS, parked right behind Rory's own car. Dressed in his familiar jacket, suspenders, and the ever-present bow tie, Rory had to admit the Time Lord was a sight for sore eyes.

"Rory?" Amy came out the door, drying her hands on a dishrag. "Who are you-" She stopped as she caught sight of their guest. "Doctor!" she cried, bounding down the front steps to give him a hug.

"Amy! How are you?" he asked, kissing her once on the forehead. "Listen," he said excitedly, pulling Rory in as well, "I've got a trip planned. There's this moon, see? Made of _actual honey._ Well, it's not actually a moon," he added. "And it's not real honey. And technically it's alive, and a bit carnivorous. But trust me, there are some _lovely_ views."

"Actually," Rory cut in, trying to be firm, "we're kind of busy."

"Busy? How can you be busy?" the Doctor demanded. "I offer you a trip to a carnivorous moon, and you're busy."

"We do have lives, you know," Amy informed him tartly. "We have to do something when you disappear."

"So do it later," he answered. "Come along, Ponds. We've got a moon to see." He started to drag them towards the TARDIS, but Amy shook him off.

"You've got a _time machine,_ " she reminded him. "It'll all still be there later, yes?"

"And right now," Rory added, "we're celebrating. Bonfire Night."

"Bonfire Night," the Doctor repeated, musingly. "Celebration of fires?"

Amy laughed. "No, stupid. Some bloke tried to blow up the Parliament, but they caught him, so now we have a holiday. Fireworks and bonfires and things, you know." She seemed suddenly to realize she was still holding the dishrag. "Hold on. Back in a mo'."

"There's a rhyme that goes with it, too," Rory explained, watching Amy hurry back through their vivid blue front door. "You know, 'Remember, remember, the fifth of November, gunpowder, treason, and plot.' Or something. Sort of an English thing. You'd have to be from around here to have heard of it, I guess," he added, seeing the Doctor's confusion. "Well, more 'around here' than you are, I guess."

"Figures. Humany-wumany stuff," the Doctor grumbled, but good-naturedly. "So what do you do?"

"To celebrate?" Rory asked. "Well, we have bonfires, usually," he said at the Doctor's nod. "And fireworks. That's where we're going. Well, were going," he corrected himself, gesturing to their car.

"Hold on, fireworks?" The Doctor beamed, dashing over to the TARDIS and ducking inside. "I love fireworks. Be right back."

"Wait, hold on," Rory protested, but the blue box was already dematerializing. "Doctor-"

"What's the matter?" Amy asked, coming out of the house again. "Where's he gone?"

"I don't know," answered Rory helplessly. "I was just telling him about the fireworks and he flew off, didn't say a thing. I don't-" He stopped as the familiar sound of TARDIS engines filled the quiet street once more.

"There you are, see?" the Doctor announced, popping out of his box once more. "Told you I'd be right back."

"Where did you go?" Amy demanded, but he refused to say, only tapping the side of his nose with a knowing grin.

"Ah, that'd be telling. You'll see. So!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Fireworks, yes? You'd best be off, wouldn't want to miss it."

"What, aren't you coming?" Rory asked. The Doctor shrugged.

"Humany-wumany," he repeated. "That's not where I belong."

"Oh, don't be absurd," Amy told him fiercy. "Of course you're coming, Raggedy Man. You're family. Come on," she added, headed for the house. "I've got to make some more sandwiches."

The Doctor beamed, following her into the house, but Rory pulled him back. "Doctor, hold on. You can't leave the TARDIS there."

"Why not?" he asked, glancing back at the neatly parked police box. "It's not hurting anything, is it?"

"Well, no," Rory admitted, "but you've parked it on a meter."

"I've _what?"_

Rory pointed behind him. Sure enough, right in front of the TARDIS stood a small parking meter, flashing red. "You've got to put change in it, or you'll get a ticket."

"A ticket? Ticket to what?"

"Not like that," Rory explained patiently. "It means you have to pay the city, that's all."

"Well, that's rubbish." The Doctor stepped over to the little meter, glaring at it. "How do they expect you to pay just to leave your car somewhere, hey? Rubbish." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and zapped it. Sparks shot out of it, but the meter remained unchanged, stubbornly demanding change. "The sonic's not working!"

"'Course not," said Rory matter-of-factly. "You'd need a miracle to fool a meter."

"Argh!" The Doctor kicked the metal pole, then lurched away, clutching his foot. "Never use force, Rory," he said, panting. "Unless you're frustrated. In which case, always use force." He kicked it again.

"Just pay it," Rory suggested, watching the Time Lord's struggles. He forced himself to hide his grin, forcing his face into an appropriately sympathetic expression whenever the Doctor looked his way.

"Can't," he replied, hobbling towards the TARDIS door. "No money. How much space have you got in your living room?" he asked.

"No," said Rory quickly, sensing the Doctor's plan. "No, we haven't got-"

"Never mind," the Doctor said. Rory breathed a small sigh of relief. "I know how big your living room is." He grinned, much to Rory's displeasure. "See you inside, Mister Pond."

"Doctor, wait a minute," he protested, but the TARDIS was already dematerializing. He cursed quietly under his breath, hurrying back inside. He brushed past Amy, who was slicing bread, and into the living room, just in time to see the Doctor dive to the floor to catch a vase he'd knocked over.

"No harm done!" he said, beaming and setting the vase back on the table it'd fallen from. Rory took a deep breath, shaking his head. "Now then, life with the Ponds," the Doctor said, rubbing his hands together. "Normal, ordinary, mundane. What can I do to help, eh?"

"Actually," Rory said carefully, "I think me and Amy've probably got it pretty well under control." He'd seen the Doctor try to be domestic, and it wasn't an experience he cared to repeat. "Maybe if you could just wait, I'm sure something will turn up-"

"RORY!"

Amy's shriek echoed around the house, making both men wince. The Doctor straightened his bow tie, grinning from ear to ear. "There we are, see?" he told Rory. "I knew something would come up." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver, flipping it in the air. "Ordinary life with the Ponds, hah! Never."

Rory sighed. "Whatever you say, Doctor. Not everything's a huge adventure, you know. Once in a while, things can just be normal." The Doctor, of course, ignored him, dashing off into the kitchen. With a weary sort of air, Rory followed the Time Lord into the kitchen, knowing full well what the matter was and not nearly in such a hurry to deal with it.

"RORYYY!"

* * *

 **Read onto the next chapter for the proper author's note :)**


	2. A Family Outing

The Doctor burst into the kitchen, sonic held at the ready. "What's the matter, Amy? What's wrong?"

Amy didn't say a word, merely pointed towards the window over their sink. If he squinted, the Doctor could make out a small black smudge on the windowsill.

"Never mind, Doctor," Rory said, brushing past him. "It's just a spider. I've told you before, Amy," he added, brushing the arachnid carefully into his hand, "they're not going to hurt you." He opened the window and shook the spider out into the bushes, shutting the window tightly.

"A spider?" the Doctor asked incredulously. "That's it? I've shown you some of the most terrifying creatures in the universe, and you scream about a spider?"

"They're evil," Amy told him with feeling. "Nasty little legs… And some of them jump!"

"She's been like this since we were kids," Rory explained. "In the fall, especially. That's when they all come out. But it's been really bad this year, and Amy's been-"

"Yes?" she asked, a distinct warning in her tone.

"Extremely lovely," he finished weakly, with a half-hearted smile. Amy glared at him, though she was smiling too.

"Just for that, you can take the sandwiches out too," she told him, handing him a neatly packed cooler. "Go on." Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, Rory went.

The Doctor sat down at their kitchen table as Amy went back to the sink to wash up. Idly, he picked up a magazine lying on the table and flipped through it. "Celebrity Scope," he read, raising an eyebrow. 'Is this yours?"

"I suppose, yeah," Amy said, scrubbing a cutting board. "I mean, I didn't buy it, but when they turn up I read them. It's a laugh."

"When they turn up?"

"Yeah." Amy shrugged. "It's a new magazine, you know, they start out by giving the locals a few months free subscription. They put it out right here in town. It's a business thing, promotional thing."

"Ah." The Doctor thumbed through the magazine, pausing every so often. "Is it working?"

"Oh, everybody reads it," she told him. "Just for fun, of course. It's always got the best stories, the secret ones, you know. Rory hates it, though," she added, lowering her voice. "Says it rots your mind and all that."

"Hmm." The Time Lord shrugged, laying down the magazine. "Well, I can see where-"

"Doctor!" Amy cried, lurching away from the sink. She pointed up at the ceiling, hands dripping suds. "There's another one!"

The Doctor jumped to his feet, instinctively pulling out his sonic and blasting the small black spider making its away across the ceiling. To his surprise, as soon as the green light from the screwdriver hit it, the spider fell from the ceiling, landing in Amy's dishwater. He walked over to the sink, nudging the fallen spider with the end of his screwdriver.

"It's dead," he announced, glancing at his now-soapy sonic with concern. "That can't be right. That's the point of having a screwdriver: doesn't kill, doesn't maim, doesn't wound. That's just why I like it."

"There you go then, see?" Amy nodded decidedly. "Evil." And with that, she reached into the sink and pulled the plug.

"Wait!" the Doctor cried, but the dead spider was already swirling down the drain. "I wanted a look at that. It shouldn't have died, not from the sonic…" He rubbed the end of the sonic dry with the edge of his sleeve, examining it closely. "It shouldn't have died." His expression was troubled.

"Yes, well, be glad it did."

"Be glad what did?" Rory asked, coming back into the kitchen. He got all the answer he needed on his wife's face. "Oh Amy. Another one?"

"Shut up, stupid face." Amy dried off her hands, though not before flicking some water at Rory. He ducked, laughing. The Doctor smiled at their antics, pleased to see his Ponds so happy.

"We really had better be going," Rory said, once Amy's hands were dry. "Wouldn't want to miss the show."

"Of course, of course." The Doctor beamed and headed for the door, herding them ahead of him. "Love a fireworks show."

* * *

The crowd oohed and aahed as firework after firework exploded overhead, filling the sky and bathing the onlookers in multicolored light. Amy lay on her back on the blanket, head in Rory's lap. The Doctor sat with his legs crossed, eyes fixed on the show going on overhead.

"Glad you came with us now, Doctor?" Rory asked, absently stroking his wife's hair.

"Well, it can't quite match a moon made of honey, but the lack of anything carnivorous is a plus," he admitted. "This is… nice." Neither of the Ponds noticed that he was looking at the two of them rather than the sky.

Another firework exploded overhead. Amy winced and rubbed her temples. "I've got a headache," she announced, sitting up.

Rory leaned over her, concern in his eyes. "What sort of headache? Do you need something?" he asked, patting his pockets. "I'm sure I've got some sort of painkiller." He came up empty. "Maybe in the car?"

"I'll go look." Amy hauled herself to her feet, giving Rory a kiss as she did. "Nice to have a nurse for a husband," she commented to the Doctor.

"I can fix it for you, if you like," he offered, pulling out the sonic and aiming it at her. But to his surprise, Amy shook her head.

"No thanks, Doctor. Normal headache, normal medicine. Besides, after what it did to that spider, I don't want that thing near me." She was joking, but the Doctor winced, putting his screwdriver away quickly. To Rory, she said, "If there's nothing there I might just go home."

"Oh, don't do that!" the Doctor protested. "You'll miss the finale! That's always the best part."

Amy looked at him for a moment, hands propped on her hips, then sighed. "I'll try, Doctor," she promised. With a smile, she headed back across the park and soon was lost in the darkness.

"Why are you so keen for her to see the end?" Rory asked. The Doctor smiled enigmatically and shook his head.

"Ah, now, that's a surprise. All I can say is, it's gonna be a whopper."

With a sigh at the Doctor's secretiveness, Rory shook his head and settled back to wait.

* * *

The Doctor glanced at his watch, then looked around. The show was nearly over, and Amy was nowhere to be seen. "Is she coming back?" the Doctor asked.

Rory shrugged. "I dunno. Fireworks aren't really her thing. It's more the holiday bit she likes," he answered, shifting position to stretch out his back. "Although it is a bit weird for her not to stick around while you're here."

"Ah." The Doctor grinned. "I'm flattered."

"Don't let it go to your head, Raggedy Man."

Both men turned around to see Amy standing behind them, arms crossed. "There you are," the Doctor said happily, scooting aside to make room for her. "I was wondering where you'd got to."

"Yes, I heard." Amy settled herself back down on the blanket, leaning up against Rory.

"Did you find any medicine?" he asked. Amy shook her head.

"Must've left it at home. Shame on you," she said teasingly. "I thought about going after it, but I didn't want to miss this grand ending. Close decision, though," she added. "It helped to be away from the noise for a bit though."

"Good," Rory said. "You know, a lot of the time headaches just come from an overflow of stimuli, and-"

"Sshhh!" The Doctor cut him off, pointing to the sky. "Here we go!"

All three watched, smiling and gasping, as the sky exploded with colors and sounds, one after the other, in rapid succession. Then, just as the show built itself into a climax, over a dozen fireworks launched together, spiraling up with a whine, then exploding.

"How did you do that?" Amy gasped, turning to the Doctor. Silhouetted against the rectangular blue pattern of fire, with one white blast on the left, he grinned and flipped his sonic in the air.

"Just waved my magic wand," he said with a wink, catching the screwdriver and aiming it at the TARDIS made of fireworks in the sky. He pressed the button, and each spot of flame sparked and burst, raining down towards the dumbfounded audience. Seconds later, they were gone, and the show was over.

"So that's where you went," Rory murmured, blinking away the sunspots. The Doctor simply beamed.

"Come on, boys," Amy said, getting to her feet and pulling Rory up after her. "Let's go home."

They rode back to the Pond house largely in silence, enjoying the quiet, the holiday atmosphere, and one another's company. When they arrived, all three piled out, the Doctor snatching up the pile of blankets they'd thrown in the back seat. They all hurried inside to escape the night chill. Once they reached the kitchen, however, Rory and the Doctor, who were first in, stopped dead.

"What is it?" Amy asked impatiently, standing on tiptoe to see over their shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Both men looked into the kitchen, then at Amy, then back again.

"What on Earth has gotten into you?" she muttered, shoving past them and plunking the cooler down on the kitchen counter.

"I don't think it's anything that's gotten into us," Rory said hesitantly. "More something that's gotten into you…"

"And it's definitely not anything on Earth," the Doctor added.

"What's not?" Amy asked, turning around to glare at them, seemingly oblivious to their company, who sat at the kitchen table reading the same magazine the Doctor had discarded only hours before.

"Oh, hello Doctor," said Amy Pond, setting down the magazine and getting up with a smile. "What took you so long?"

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hello, friends! I missed you dearly. Sorry about the delay, but my friend and coeditor advised me to post the first two chapters at once, which I think was wise. If you would, consider them two parts of one very large chapter, yes?**

 **Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I've long wanted to do a more comical, light-hearted type story, with the sort of slapstick gag feel of the most recent Christmas special, so this is my attempt. Hopefully you at least smiled a bit. Amy and Rory are characters I have not done yet, so they're taking some getting used to, but I'm enjoying it. Should be fun. Especially with more than one Amy...**

 **Well, thank you all for giving me a chance, and if you're new to my writing, then welcome! I am delighted to have you joining up. You will soon learn that I absolutely love feedback of any kind, be it fav/follow, review, or even PM, I always want to hear from you. Even if you've got something negative to say, I'm all about constructive criticism. Frankly, I'm all about communication with the audience in general. So know that I thank you for reading, and let the journey begin!**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	3. The River Amy

"There's two of her," Rory said slowly, taking a step back. "There's two. Doctor, why is there two?"

"I don't know," the Doctor muttered, looking back and forth from one Amy to the next, "but something tells me there's more than two of them." He pulled Rory out of the kitchen and into the living room. Another Amy was stretched out on the couch, fast asleep.

"Okay, so three. Or more." Rory took a deep breath, reconciling himself to the situation. "Alright." He peered back into the kitchen, watching both the Amys in it going about their business. "Can they see each other?" he asked the Doctor quietly. "The Amys, I mean. Can they see one another?"

"Glimpses, that's all," he replied, just as softly. "Every so often, just briefly. If I'm right… It's like when you wonder what your life would be like if you hadn't done this or that," he explained. "Hadn't taken that job, hadn't met that person, hadn't gone to the supermarket that day. You wonder where you'd be now, and you can almost see yourself. Like that." He grinned. "Except way more literal."

Rory snorted. "Yeah, you could say that. So what do we do?"

"Figure out when this started," the Doctor said, pulling his sonic screwdriver out of his jacket pocket and scanning the sleeping Amy carefully. "Find the breaking point, the spot where she started splitting apart. Then maybe we'll find out why."

"But you've got an idea, haven't you?" asked Rory, somewhat desperately. "You have got a, a plan, right?"

"Well, of course I've got an idea, I've always got ideas, dozens of them." He flicked open the sonic, peering closely at it. "That's the problem. And as for a plan…" He stared at the screwdriver a moment more, before flicking it shut.

"Yes? What?"

"We need to find all the Amys," he announced. "Talk to them, get the details of what's happened. Everything she's done since I arrived."

"Alright." Rory nodded. "And then see where they're different?"

"Where they split off, yes, well done, Rory!" The Doctor ruffled Rory's hair, making him grimace and duck away.

"But there could be tons of them," he protested, smoothing his hair down again. "How would we know we've got them all?"

"Something tells me there won't be as many as you might think," the Doctor told him. "Not if we're quick. Also-" He flipped the screwdriver into the air, catching it neatly. "I need to scan her. Every one of her."

"Scan her?" Rory asked, glancing warily at the kitchen door. "What for?"

"Ideas, remember?" The Doctor tapped the side of his head with the end of the sonic, then pointed it at the Amy still sleeping on the couch. "And there's subject number one." He looked at Rory. "Wake her up."

"Me? Why can't you?" Rory eyed him, then grinned. "Doctor. You're not telling me you're scared of her."

The Doctor looked back at him, his gaze level. "Rory, if I were given the choice between fighting an entire Dalek fleet and waking up a sleeping Amelia Pond…" He shook his head. "I'd take the Daleks in a heartbeat."

Rory considered this. "Yeah," he said at last. "Me too."

"Once she's awake, get the information from her," the Doctor instructed. "I'll go interview the others. Every time she says she's made a decision, write it down. Meet back here once you're done. Ooh." He smiled brightly. "Love having a plan. So… official." He started through the kitchen door, then popped back, grinning. "Dozens of Amy," he remarked. "Your lucky day, Mr. Pond. You could form a harem."

"Doctor-" Rory began, but he was gone. "Not funny," he muttered. "Not funny at all." He looked apprehensively at his sleeping wife - at least, one of them - and carefully shook her shoulder. "Amy?"

* * *

"Okay. So here's what we've got."

The Doctor threaded his fingers together and pushed his hands out, cracking his joints. He sat on their couch, leaning over the low coffee table. In front of him spread an array of pencils, pens, markers, crumpled bits of paper, and empty cups, as well as a half-eaten bowl of custard with a fish finger sticking out of it.

In the middle of the mess was a large flowchart, marked all over by the Doctor's slanted handwriting. The top row said _Doctor arrives,_ with an arrow pointing down to _Amy makes sandwiches, kills spiders._ This was followed by _Watch fireworks,_ then _Amy goes to car for medicine._ This was circled multiple times in thick red marker.

However, from there, the arrows began to branch off. One led to _Went back to fireworks,_ another to _Went home._ Off of that came _Stayed up to wait_ and _Went to sleep_ , from which came _Couch_ and _Bed._ There were other branches leading off as well, some with only question marks by them.

The Doctor held up this flowchart for Rory to see. "I think it has to be that," he said, pointing to the red circle. "It's the last thing that lines up."

"Okay." Rory nodded slowly, frowning. "So you think there was something in the car? That's when this… whatever it is… happened?"

"Or when it kicked in," the Doctor added. "But we know it happened at least by then."

"Do you at least know what happened?"

"Well…" He set the chart back down and pulled out his sonic screwdriver, clicking it a few times to adjust the frequency. "Yes and no. I scanned all the Amys - at least, all that we found." He tapped the few question marks on the chart with the end of the sonic, denting the paper. "I think I've got enough information to narrow down those ideas."

"So you've just got one now," Rory said, confirming. The Doctor made a face.

"Of course not, Rory. When do I ever have just one idea? But," he added at Rory's frustrated sigh, "I have narrowed it down to the most _probable_ idea."

"Go on, then," Rory said with a sigh, settling back in his chair. "Let's hear it."

The Doctor leaned forward, setting the sonic down on the table and steepling his fingers. "Have you ever heard of the string universe theory?"

"Yeah," Rory said simply. At the Doctor's surprised expression, he explained, "Two thousand years outside a box, remember? I wanted to know everything I could." He shrugged. "It came up now and then."

"Well. Good for you." The Doctor was somewhat taken aback. "It's basically the theory-"

"The theory that every decision you make creates an alternate universe where you made the opposite choice," Rory finished matter-of-factly. Then he blinked as he realized the implications of what he'd said. "Oh. Oh my - Is that what happened to Amy?"

"I think so," the Doctor said carefully. "Really too early to tell. But they've all got extra time energy floating around them," he added, picking up the screwdriver again and rolling it between his fingers. "Too much. Her timeline's been fractured, and it's triggered all of this." He waved a hand about. "Every decision she makes, any version of her, will create another Amy."

"But which one's the real one?" Rory asked. "The real Amy, my Amy?"

"All of them," the Doctor replied carefully, smiling slightly. "And none of them. All of them together make up the Amelia Pond we know and love," he explained. "Right now, they're just pieces. Like… echoes. Possibilities. See, Rory, life is defined by the choices we make, with every decision leaving a tiny scar on the universe, and that makes you _you._ When you're born, you have an enormous amount of potential, almost unlimited - all of your choices are still unmade, and every one you make limits that. It's like… a river, with hundreds of thousands of branches. Each decision you make is like damming up one more branch, and the main river, the river that's left, keeps growing and growing and that's you, that's who you are."

"A river," Rory repeated, quietly incredulous.

"Yes, Rory. People are rivers." The Doctor grinned. "Good, eh? It's called a time stream for a reason, you know," he added with a wink.

"But what about Amy?" asked Rory, concerned. "What's different about her… river?"

"Whatever's happened to her, whatever's caused this, she's stopped damming branches," the Doctor explained. "She's lost all her freedom of choice, because she has to make every choice, don't you see? Watch."

He got up from the couch, spilling pens and pencils everywhere, and went to the door of the kitchen. Rory hurried after him and glanced inside to see only one Amy waiting. "Amy," the Doctor called, "could you come here, please?"

Amy looked up from the table. "What for?" she asked, somewhat suspiciously. The Doctor shrugged.

"No real reason."

She sighed. Then, as they watched, she stood up - and didn't. Another Amy seemed to step out of the first, walking over towards them. The other ignored them completely. The second Amy leaned on the counter, arms crossed. "What do you want, Doctor?" she asked, eyes narrowed. "You always want something."

"Just… testing out a theory," he answered evasively, glancing meaningfully at Rory. "How're you feeling, Amy?"

She looked up at him, wary, and not sure entirely why. "Alright." She frowned. "Well, a bit weird, actually. Like something's missing. Do you feel that?" she asked Rory.

"Yep."

The Doctor glanced at him in surprise. "Really?" he asked, reaching for his sonic. But Amy stopped him, raising an eyebrow at Rory.

"Are you just saying that because you're scared of me?"

"Yep," was the prompt answer. Amy smiled and the Doctor sighed in relief.

"I love you," Amy told him, kissing him quickly before heading back into the kitchen. Rory watched, smiling through his confusion, as she walked back to her spot at the table, sitting down and melting into her other self. Within seconds, there was nothing to show she'd ever been divided.

"What was that about?" he asked the Doctor, stepping back into the living room. "She joined up again, did you see?"

"It didn't make any difference," the Doctor explained, sitting back down on the couch and writing feverishly on the edge of his flowchart. "Her choice, I mean. It didn't lead to any changes in her long-run life."

"But how is that possible?" Rory asked, somewhat bewildered. "All her other choices, she's split off, hasn't she? So what makes this-"

"Not all decisions are life-altering, Rory." The Doctor paused in his writing, looking at his friend sideways. "The trick is knowing which ones are which. Now come on," he added brightly, rolling up his paper and getting to his feet before Rory really had time to think, "Something's doing something to Amelia Pond." He grinned, tapping Rory lightly on the head with the paper tube. "I say we go find out what."

* * *

 **A.N: Hello! Glad to see you're still with me. I do apologize for the delay - those who know me know that this is an unusually long delay between chapters. I'd like to promise that it won't happen again, but frankly, I've learned better than to make promises like that. To quote Mary Poppins: It's a pie crust promise - easily made, easily, broken. Of course, if you need something to do while you wait, I do have several other stories, Doctor Who and otherwise (though mostly Doctor Who. Those are the good ones) that will keep you busy...**

 **Okay, shameless plug over. In any case, I am rather proud of this chapter, or, at least, some of the ideas therein. I've had this idea honestly for months, and it's exciting to finally see it laid out in black and white. Very neat feeling.**

 **I think that's all I've got for now. I'm over fifty views, which for two chapters is saying something. Let's see how much higher we can get that up, hey? I'm terribly grateful to those of you who've followed, favorited, and especially reviewed. I can't tell you how encouraging it is.**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	4. Being Neighborly

"Okay, figure it out, good idea," Rory said patiently, nodding to the Doctor. "And what's your plan for that?"

"Anachronisms," the Doctor said, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and fiddling with the settings. "Anomalies. Little things you can't quite explain. Tell me anything that's changed in the last month. Go on," he added impatiently, peering at the screwdriver.

"Well, if you'd give me a second…" Rory replied, but quickly gave up - the Doctor had never really done well with sarcasm. He sighed. "Well, it's fall now, for one. Nearly winter. I-"

"The seasons changing…" The Doctor paused, staring at him suspiciously. "Should they be doing that? Is that unusual?"

"Er, no," answered Rory, somewhat awkwardly, "I mean, it's a bit late this year, but season change, yeah." He paused, staring at the Doctor. "Shouldn't you know that?"

"I see a lot of planets, things get mixed up, sometimes," he answered absently, going back to the screwdriver. "Sometimes they change, sometimes they don't. I knew one, once, where they had well over eighty different seasons," he added, looking up with a bright smile. "Changed twice a day. On a good day, anyway."

"Right," Rory said, choosing to move on. "So, there's that. Um… The spiders. Came with the season, I guess," he added.

"Spiders. Yes," the Doctor muttered. "Got to look at those eventually. What else?"

"We got new neighbors," he offered. "Older couple, teenage daughter. Turner, the name is. They just moved in, I think last week? Lovely people. The woman, Marie, has all kinds of hip trouble."

"Aha!" the Doctor exclaimed. "Neighbors. New, lovely, perfectly normal neighbors move in next door, and suddenly things start to _happen!_ Oh, I've seen it before, and I'll see it again." He dashed out of the living room, heading outside.

"Hold on - Doctor!" Rory called, jumping to his feet and hurrying after the Time Lord.

When he reached his backyard, the Doctor was nowhere to be found. He peered around uncertainly - it wasn't a large space, surely he couldn't have gone too far. Slowly, Rory walked over to the fence dividing the Pond yard from the Turner yard.

Mrs. Turner was on her knees in her flowerbed, planting bulbs for next spring. Their daughter - Rory couldn't think of her name - was curled up in a lawn chair, reading a magazine and enjoying the last of the warm weather. Rory was about to call out a hello when the Doctor suddenly appeared from a bush and yanked him down out of sight.

"Doctor, what are you-"

"Sshhh!" The Doctor cut him off, peering through the dark red slats of the fence. "If they know we're watching them, they'll act natural to throw us off," he whispered. "We've got to watch them while they think they're alone."

"Right." Rory glanced through the fence, watching the girl flip idly through the pages of her magazine. She looked nearly asleep. "Er… you're not actually suggesting our neighbors are aliens?"

"He's _what?"_

The Doctor and Rory turned around hastily to see Amy - one of them, at least - standing over them, hands on her hips. Rory stood up quickly, brushing off his hands, trying to look innocent.

"What are you two doing?" she demanded. "Hiding in a bush? And now you think the Turner's are aliens in disguise, yeah?" She sighed at the looks on their faces. "Doctor, just for once, can't something ever be normal?"

"I was trying to get him to stop," Rory protested. "I just mentioned that they'd moved in, that's all."

"Did he tell you about her hip problems?" Amy asked the Doctor, who only grinned in response. She shook her head, smiling in spite of herself. "Typical nurse."

"It's precautionary, that's all," the Doctor explained, pulling out the sonic screwdriver and bending over to peer through the fence again. "I just need to scan them. Any one will do." He pressed the button on the screwdriver, aiming it through the fence. "If I can just get close enough - oh!"

He'd put his eye up to the gap between the fence boards, then recoiled. On the other side of the fence, a very startled Marie Turner flung her tulip bulb in the air, showering dirt everywhere. Instantly, Rory was dashing to the gate and hurrying through to help the older lady up.

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking her over. "No visible injuries-"

"Yes, dear, I'm fine, thank you," she said, patting his arm. "Who was that nice-looking young man hiding in your bushes?"

"That's just the Doctor," Amy explained, coming through the gate as well. "Don't mind him. He's a bit… odd."

"Yeah, you could say that," Rory muttered.

"A doctor?" Mrs. Turner repeated, smiling. "Are you studying with him, Rory?"

"I suppose so, yeah," he answered awkwardly. "Amy is too. Right, Amy?"

"Yeah, sort of," Amy said - and didn't. She'd split off again, Rory saw with a sigh, one copy of her coming over to Mrs. Turner and talking with him, and the other going back around by the Doctor.

"What're you planting, Mrs. Turner?" he asked hastily, grabbing her gently by the shoulders and steering her away so she wouldn't see the second head of red hair disappearing behind the fence. Amy followed along behind, trying to be interested.

The other Amy, meanwhile, went back to the Doctor, who was still crouched in the bush. "What are you doing?" she hissed. He looked up.

"Investigating," he told her with a grin. "See?" To Amy's disgust, his outstretched hand contained a spider.

"Eurgh!" Amy recoiled, smacking his hand and knocking the spider to the ground. "Get it away!"

"Oi, watch it!" Amy watched in disbelief as the Doctor fell to his knees in the dirt, scrabbling after the spider. "I was looking at that."

He recovered the small arachnid, holding it cupped in his hands. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver with the other hand and pointed it at the spider. Amy watched with bated breath, waiting for it to curl up, dead, but nothing happened. The Doctor opened his hand and let the spider scuttle away, no doubt glad to be free.

"Okay," Amy said slowly, watching it crawl up the edge of a branch. "So what happened?"

"Nothing," the Doctor answered, frowning at the sonic. "Not a thing. It's perfectly fine." He looked suspiciously at the spider, poking it gently. "But it shouldn't be."

"So one of them died, one of them didn't. Bit weird. Does it matter?"

"My dear Amelia Pond, everything matters if you think about it long enough." He paused for a moment, thinking, then grinned at her, standing up with a bounce and smoothing down his jacket. "But as it is, I'm busy, and I've got some neighbors to meet. Come on!"

He dashed around the fence and right up to Mrs. Turner, beaming and shaking her hand. "Hello, hello, lovely to meet you! I'm the Doctor," he said brightly. "And you-" He stopped, noticing now the second Amy that stood with them. "Oh. I see."

"Yes, dear? What is it?" the old woman asked, oblivious for the moment to the extra Amy coming up behind the Doctor.

"Er, nothing," Rory said quickly. "Amy, why don't you head back inside?"

"Rory, no!" the Doctor cried, but he was too late. Each of the Amys split apart, both agreeing and disagreeing. Within seconds, four identical Amys stood in the neat backyard. "Don't ever give her a choice," he muttered, staring around at the spectacle.

Mrs. Turner blinked, stunned. "Is there- Did she- What's-"

"Don't worry about it, ma'am," Rory said kindly, taking her by the arm.

"But there's four of them!"

"I think you'd better come in out of the heat, Mrs. Turner," Rory told her, leading her gently into her house. "It does funny things to people sometimes."

"It's _November!"_

"But warm though, don't you think?" He steered her inside, glancing back at the Doctor over his shoulder, who shot him a look of thanks.

"What was that all about?" asked one of the Amys curiously - the Doctor genuinely wasn't sure which.

"Heatstroke," he said with a vague smile. He hurried away, ignoring the four identical looks of disbelief, and plopped himself down on the grass beside the Turner's teenage daughter. "Hello," he said brightly, looking up at her. "I'm the Doctor."

"Molly," the girl replied, not glancing up from her magazine. The Doctor eyed her curiously.

"Nice day, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Are you enjoying it?"

"Yep."

"I'm an alien. I'm over nine hundred years old, and I've got two hearts."

"Cool." Still the girl showed no reaction whatsoever.

The Doctor glanced meaningfully at the Amys, pulling out his sonic screwdriver. "I'm just going to scan you with this, alright? Bit of alien tech, won't hurt a bit."

"Okay." Molly turned a page, still not paying him any attention. The magazine, he noticed suddenly, was the same one Amy had been reading. His suspicions growing, the Doctor held up the sonic screwdriver and scanned the girl top to toe as she reclined in her lawn chair.

"So what's going on?" an Amy asked.

"Nothing," the Doctor replied quietly. "At least, not enough. Lowered brain waves, lowered heartbeat… by rights she should be in a coma. See, I knew something wasn't right!"

"I'd call that a bit more than 'not right," another Amy said dryly. "So what're you going to do?"

"Everyone always assumes I'm going to do something," he muttered, though good-naturedly. "What if one day I decided just not to help, eh? What then?"

"You wouldn't be able to do it," she told him decidedly. "You'd see one child crying and have to give in."

The Doctor looked at her for one long moment, then turned back to Molly, who hadn't moved at all during the exchange. Suddenly, however, after turning a page, she seemed to come to life.

"Ooh, a scratch and sniff!" she exclaimed. The Doctor blinked at her in bewildered astonishment.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Here." Molly held out her magazine, pointing to a little patch on a perfume ad. "See? It's so you can smell what the perfume will be like." She scratched the spot with one manicured nail, then held it up to her nose, breathing deeply. With a sigh of pleasure, she sank back into her chair, seemingly comatose once more.

The Doctor looked at the Amys curiously, then asked Molly, "Can I have a go?"

"No." She held up her magazine again, all interest in the strange man lost. The Doctor stood up, groaning slightly at moving his stiff knees.

"Celebrity Scope," he muttered, glancing at the front page. "Hmm. Come along, Pond," he said, starting briskly back towards their house. "We've got a magazine to look at."

* * *

 **A.N: Hello, dears! I missed you, and I hope you missed me a bit. Another chapter done - I think this story is going to turn out to be rather shorter than expected, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as I have lots of other things to do (my agenda is posted on my profile, if you're curious). I'm greatly enjoying writing this story though - there's a lot of humor in it, I think, especially for Sherlock fans in this chapter, if you're paying close attention. I amuse myself greatly, even if I don't amuse you.**

 **Anyway, thank you for the views! I had hoped to double them, and we very nearly tripled, which is awesome. Let's see if we can triple reviews, too, eh? That would be incredible. Reviews are my lifeblood, and are definitely tied directly to how fast this story gets updated... In any case, I thank you very much for reading. I love to see you all!**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	5. Not a Moment To Lose

"Now, hold on a minute," one of the Amys trailing behind the Doctor called as they hurried through the gate into her backyard. "A scratch and sniff? You can't be serious. That's what you're worried about?"

"You saw her," the Doctor replied, not turning around. "She's completely brain dead, except for when she talked about that. I know teenagers are obsessive," he added, "but that's taking things a bit far."

"So, what, you're going to be brain dead, too? Is that what you want?"

"Oh, I doubt it." He grinned, pausing at the Ponds' back door. "It'd take far more than that to kill this brain," he said, tapping the side of his head. "Give me some credit."

The Doctor stepped inside, dodging around the TARDIS still parked in the living room, and headed for the kitchen. Glancing back, he saw that all four Amys had merged into one, her timelines coinciding once more. He smiled to himself, somewhat sadly.

"Oh, Amelia Pond," he murmured. "All roads lead to me, eh? Wonder what'll happen when I'm not around."

"Sorry, what?" Amy asked, coming up behind him. He quickly shook his head, turning on the smile once more.

"Nothing," he said hastily. "Nothing at all. Do you ever do these?" he asked instead, changing the subject a little too quickly. "These scratchy things?"

She looked at him for a moment, but didn't ask further. "No," she said in answer. "They give me a rash. I think I'm allergic."

"Might not be a bad thing," the Doctor muttered darkly.

Amy raised an eyebrow, then shook her head. "What is it like in your brain, Doctor?"

"My brain?" The Doctor took a moment to think. "It's like… a big roller coaster," he answered at last, "packed full of geniuses, all going _wheee!"_

Amy laughed. "Somehow I'm not surprised. It's very you, Raggedy Man."

"I'll take that as a compliment, I think."

By now they had reached to kitchen. The Doctor promptly plopped himself down at the table and snatched up the magazine in question, flipping through it until he found the perfume advertisement Molly had shown him.

"Here we go!" he exclaimed, far too excited, in Amy's opinion. "So what do I do?"

"It's in the name, idiot," she told him, fighting back a smile. "Scratch and sniff."

"Right." Blushing ever so slightly, the Doctor scratched the little patch with a fingernail and held it up to his nose. "Hmm. Not bad. I-" Without another word, he collapsed on the table.

"Doctor?" He didn't move. "Oh my God, Doctor, are you alright?" Amy ran forward, holding up his head and forcing open one eyelid. "Can you hear me?" She let him go and he flopped back down on the table, colliding with a thud. Amy winced. "RORY!"

She flew out of the kitchen, nearly colliding with her husband in the hallway. "Mrs. Turner will be just fine," he told her. "She's resting. Bit confused, but-" He stopped at the look on Amy's face. "Everything alright?"

"It's the Doctor," she explained, her words coming out in a rush. "He smelled one of those scratch and sniff things in magazines, you know the ones, and he passed out!"

" _What?"_

"Oh, come on," Amy said impatiently, grabbing his hand and yanking him into the kitchen. Rory took a moment to assess the situation before snapping into action.

"Get him on the floor," he ordered Amy. "He needs to be stretched out flat, but be careful." Amy hurried to obey, carefully maneuvering the Doctor out of the chair while Rory ran for his medical kit. He was back in only a few moments, pulling out a stethoscope and sticking the ends in his ears.

"No heartbeat," Rory reported, his voice containing only professionalism and none of the panic he was feeling. "Neither of them. No pulse, he's not breathing," he added grimly, tossing aside the stethoscope. "It'll have to be CPR."

"Just do something!" Amy half-screamed, kneeling down beside the fallen Doctor and shaking his arm.

"Alright, I'm working on it." Rory gently shoved her aside and crossed his hands on the Time Lord's chest, pushing down rhythmically and counting under his breath, first on one heart, then the other.

"Can I help?" Amy asked desperately.

"I can do it, thanks," he answered shortly. "Don't need you kissing the Doctor, even if it is an emergency." Sucking in a puff of air, he blew it into the Doctor's mouth, then went back to pumping.

"It's not working!" Amy cried, beginning to panic. Rory shook his head, panting but continuing his motions. "Does CPR work on Time Lords?"

"Got any other ideas?"

Without answering, Amy reached forward and slapped the unconscious Doctor across the face, hard. To Rory's utter disbelief, he jerked awake, sitting up so fast his head nearly collided with Amy's.

"Yowza! Okay! Ow! Really, Amy?" he asked petulantly, rubbing his jaw.

"Did the job, didn't it?" she replied, not sorry in the least. "What happened?"

"It's the chemicals," he explained, his breath catching slightly. "They didn't agree with my system. Meant for humans, not Time Lords." Before either of his friends could stop him, the Doctor snatched up the magazine and licked the unobtrusive little patch. "Urgh. Very Earthy," he muttered, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "And meant to be inhaled, too. Yeck. Whatever they're using, it's powerful stuff."

"Whatever who's using?" Rory asked. "You keep assuming there's someone out there doing something to us."

"Isn't there always?" the Doctor replied with a wry smile, getting up off the floor with a groan. "Come on, then. This magazine. Tell me all about it."

"Er, well, it's got celebrity stories, you know," Amy said, sitting down at the table. "Really up-to-date, too. Always knows exactly what's going on. Plus local gossip, too, sometimes."

"Hold on," Rory said, grabbing the magazine from the Doctor and laying it out flat on the table. "I'm assuming we're going to have to find these people eventually, we usually do."

"He's not wrong," Amy commented, hiding a smile.

"Thank you," he replied with a smile for his wife. "So…" He flipped through the pages, finally coming to the back page. "There you go!" he said triumphantly, tapping the paper.

The Doctor and Amy bent over to look. Rory was pointing to a sticker on the cover of the magazine - a mailing address, with the Ponds' house number printed on it, and just below it -

"Oh, well done, Rory!" the Doctor exclaimed, clapping him on the back. "Return address! Perfect."

"It's not far from here, either," Amy added, peering at the street. "We could drive there, easy."

"May as well," Rory said with a weary grin. "Whatever's going on is bound to be there, yeah?"

"Come on, then," the Doctor cried, jumping up from the table with surprising agility for a man who'd just had his hearts restarted. "No time to waste."

"Hang on, what about the spiders?" said Amy suddenly. "Didn't you say there was something odd about them?"

"Oh-" The Doctor paused midstep, caught by indecision. "Oh, bother the spiders," he said at last. "Probably just a coincidence. Of course, you should never ignore coincidence. Unless you're busy, and right now, I am." He grinned. "Come along, Ponds. Never a moment to waste!"

* * *

 **A.N: Hello again, dears! Another chapter for you! I'm avoiding homework, so enjoy it while you can before it all catches up to me. I know this one isn't as long, but it's something, and I hate to leave you hanging too long. I think I'm actually decently close to done, which frankly I'm excited about because after this comes my Wholock story, and I'm incredibly pumped for that. Do stick around, because that might replace my Mystery Girl as my new magnum opus. We'll see how it goes.**

 **Thanks all for the reviews and views. You all know I can never get enough of them. Also, I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but if you're ever in need of a beta, I absolutely volunteer. I do love beta reading for people, and I like to think I'm helping other authors learn. Happy feelings. So yes, keep it in mind.**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	6. Preparations

The Ponds' bright red sports car pulled up in front of an unobtrusive little office building of the edge of town. Amy bent down the top of her massive road map to peer at the address.

"Is this the right place?" Rory asked, pulling up to the curb. Amy nodded.

"I think so. If I've got the map right, anyway," she added, turning the large paper sideways and peering at a tiny street name.

"I wouldn't count on it," he muttered, earning a glare from his wife. The Doctor, however, came to Amy's defense, poking his head up from the backseat.

"It is," he said with certainty. "I can smell it." He sniffed and wrinkled his nose. "All sort of… chemical-y. Fake. Earthy. Something's not right." He rubbed his chest, distracted.

"Sure you're not going to pass out again?" Amy joked, folding up the map. The Doctor flashed her a grin, immediately putting his hand down.

"Hope not. I suppose anything's possible."

"Well, this time, we'll be prepared," Rory said confidently, nodding to the back seat where a small defibrillator lay. They'd picked it up from the hospital where Rory worked on the way, just in case. "Can't have our Time Lord out of the action." The Doctor glanced at it, then shuddered, moving farther away.

"Hate those things," he muttered, rubbing his chest. "Hurt like the dickens."

"You won't be complaining when it saves your life," Amy told him tartly, shoving her still mostly unfolded map roughly into the glove box. "Well, come on, then. We're not going to get anything done in here." With that, she grabbed the door handle and popped the door open, stepping out into the sunshine. The Doctor started to follow, but Rory stopped him.

"Er, Doctor…" He cleared his throat. "Why is there still only one of her? One Amy?"

The Doctor blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we're here, aren't we? We made the decision to leave, she made the decision to leave, it was a choice. Shouldn't she have split off again?"

"She should have, you're right," he muttered, scratching his head. "Unless…"

"Unless what?" Rory demanded. "Is something else wrong now?"

"No no, nothing's wrong." The Doctor smiled at him. "It's just that she's with us all the way. That coming with us to figure this thing out, for her, wasn't even a major choice. Was less of a choice than whether or not to read a magazine." He shrugged happily. "Take it as a compliment, I'd say."

"Oi!" Amy's irritated voice rang out across the city block. "You boys coming or not?"

"On our way," the Doctor called, grinning at Rory. "You carry the… thing." He nodded toward the defibrillator, then hopped out of the car, hurrying after Amy. "Come on!"

With a sigh, Rory grabbed the metal machine, slinging the strap across his back, and followed them in. Just outside the small building, he found the Doctor scanning Amy with his sonic screwdriver. "What are you doing now?"

"Isolating her timeline," the Doctor replied matter-of-factly. "Blocking off Amy, just this Amy, from whatever's gone wrong."

"He still won't say what's gone wrong, exactly," Amy added, frowning at the Time Lord.

"Yes, I know. Better that way."

Amy sniffed. "I'll make that decision myself, thanks."

With a sigh and a nervous glance at Rory, the Doctor said, "Alright, fine. Something's gone wibbly with your timeline and now every decision you make, you split into two of you. And now that I've done this, you shouldn't. Happy?"

"Sorry, _what?"_

"Later, I promise," the Doctor told her, examining the sonic, then clicking it shut.

"But, hang on," Rory interrupted. "Why didn't you do that before? Or right at the beginning?"

"Didn't think of it," the Doctor admitted sheepishly. "But it wouldn't have worked anyway. They were too close together, and she wasn't split up enough. The connection was still too strong. Here, though, she's separated from the rest. Perfect. Good on you for mentioning it, Rory," he added with a grin.

"Er, thanks," Rory answered, hefting the defibrillator. "Shall we go in, then?"

"May as well," Amy said, and she led the charge into the little building.

They stopped short once inside the lobby. It was very small, with only one door leading out, but surprisingly cozy. A well-dressed young man sat at a desk, staring at a computer screen. The room was brightly painted, with lamps and potted plants. It felt, Rory decided, more like a living room than an office. The man looked up when they came in.

"May I help you?"

Amy and Rory instantly looked at the Doctor.

"Yes, right, hello! I'm the Doctor, this is Amy, Rory." He pointed to them each in turn. "And you are?"

"Delighted to meet you," the man said. He didn't look very delighted. Truth be told, Rory thought, he didn't look very anything - his face was oddly blank, though he'd shown a flicker of something when the Doctor had mentioned his name. It'd almost looked like fear, but it was gone so quickly Rory couldn't be sure.

"Ooh, that's smooth," Amy murmured, raising an eyebrow. "I like him." Rory elbowed her. "What?" She said defensively.

"And what can I do for you?" he asked politely.

"We want to see whoever's in charge," the Doctor said bluntly, looking rather pleased with himself. The young man merely blinked at him.

"What we mean," Amy jumped in, smiling politely and gently shoving the Doctor out of the way, "is we'd like to see the publisher. Or maybe the editor. Or whoever's highest up."

"We'd like to register a complaint," Rory added.

"Ah." Something in the man's face loosened, as if they were now back in familiar territory. "Complaint forms are here, you may fill one out if you-"

"Oh, no no," Amy said smoothly, "I think this is a little beyond a form, wouldn't you say?" The Doctor and Rory nodded vigorously. "Yes, this is a very serious complaint. I think we're going to have to sue. I'd hate to think of all the investigation you'd have to go through if we did…" She trailed off suggestively, raising an eyebrow.

The man's eyes widened. "I see, miss. I'll… I'll see what Dr. S. has to say of it." He stood up from his desk and disappeared through the one door.

"Well. That went well," Rory said into the silence that followed. "Good one, Amy."

"It figures," she answered, tossing her hair. "Threaten a man's money and he'll do anything."

"Yes yes, very good," the Doctor cut in. Amy wasn't sure whether he'd heard her or not. "Dr. S… Seems a bit ominous. When your own employees don't call you by your full name? Yikes. And another doctor…" He grinned at the other two, cracking his knuckles. "I'm excited, are you excited?"

Amy and Rory shared a glance, smiling. "Oh yeah," Amy said. "Always."

"Can't wait," Rory added. "How're the hearts holding up?"

"What? Oh, fine, fine." The Doctor patted his chest fondly. "Never better. Don't worry."

"Mhmm, except with you, it's always the things you brush off that are the important ones," Amy retorted.

"I-" He stopped, looking at her for a long moment. "Perceptive, Amy Pond, but I'm fine. Really."

"If you insist," Amy said, surrendering but still skeptical. Rory said nothing.

Just then, the door opened and the young man poked his head out. "Dr. S. will see you now," he said, with an empty smile. He stepped forward, opening the door to usher them in. The Doctor glanced at his friends, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, we'd hate to keep him waiting," he said dryly, and led the way into the office, ready, he was sure, for anything.

* * *

 **A.N: Hello! I've missed you all. Sorry about the delay: as midterm approaches, things start to pile up and writing must get pushed to the side. Anyway. It's here.**

 **Perhaps some of you have guessed the identity of our Dr. S. If not, don't worry, you'll find out in the next chapter, I promise. I must say, I'm writing on shaky ground here (I haven't seen some of the major bits with this character) but I guess we'll see how it goes.**

 **I think that's all I've got for now, so thank you again for reading and have an excellent day!**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	7. Lessons Learned

The nameless young man showed them into a small office, as cozy as the first. Another man sat behind a desk, busily writing. He was older than the first, with stringy hair and a flabby face, though he wasn't overweight. Amy disliked him instantly. He looked up when they came in.

"Ah, thank you." The young man bowed and left the room, shutting the single door behind him. Dr. S. stood up, his face void of expression. "Who did you say you were?"

Rory raised an eyebrow at his rudeness, trading glances with Amy. "I'm Rory," he said, trying to be polite. "This is my wife, Amy, and the Doctor."

"Lovely to meet you," the Doctor said, springing forward and seizing the man's hand. "The mysterious Dr. S. What's that short for, eh? Smith? There's a good name."

"I don't believe this is relevant," Dr. S. said stiffly. "What is your concern?"

"It's about the-" Rory began, but the Doctor cut him off.

"But you see, Dr. S., I never forget a face, and yours is very familiar. Have we met before? Darts, maybe?"

"I hardly think it likely-"

"No, hang on!" The Doctor snapped his fingers excitedly, darting around the desk. "I think I've got it. Different haircut, nice modern clothes." He tugged on the man's sleeve. "But you haven't done a thing with the face. Lazy. Doesn't it get old after a while?"

"Doctor, what are you talking about?" Amy asked irritably. "Do you know him or not?"

"Oh, we go back, we do. 1800's, wasn't it?" He turned to Amy and Rory, beaming. "May I introduce Dr. Simeon, face of the Great Intelligence."

"Okay?" Amy said, raising an eyebrow. "Should we be impressed?"

"Oh, I should think so!" The Doctor said quickly, jumping in before Dr. Simeon could speak. "We're speaking to an imprint of an interdimensional being, how many of those do you meet in a lifetime, eh? He's made of _pure information._ Knowledge incarnate." The Doctor beamed.

"You flatter me, Doctor," Dr. Simeon said cooly.

"So wait," Rory interrupted, setting his defibrillator down on the man's desk. "We're talking to _knowledge?_ Where'd the body come from, then?"

"This is merely an avatar," he explained. "The proper host of this body chose to give up his own life, allowing me to enter and use him." He smiled coldly. "Fool. One should never let go of something so precious."

"And you've met this bloke before?" Amy asked the Doctor. He nodded.

"Bit of a long story. Tell you later."

"Right then," Amy said dismissively. "He's a nutter." Dr. Simeon turned to her, but rather than being insulted, his face bore an expression of calculating interest.

"So you're the one," he breathed. Amy stepped back slightly, propping her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

"The one what?" she asked. Rory smiled slightly at her Scottish aggressiveness.

"The one it didn't work on," Dr. Simeon replied softly, stepping closer - too close for a casual conversation. Amy stiffened, but did not step back again. "The one with the universe in her head, who fears my messengers and refuses my messages."

"Messengers?" Rory asked. "What messengers?"

In response, Dr. Simeon held up a hand. To Amy's utter disgust, a small black spider crawled out of the sleeve of his coat and up his fingers. He smiled.

"Okay," Amy muttered, leaning away. "Definitely a nutter."

Before any of them could say any more, the sound of a sonic screwdriver filled the air. The spider, sitting contentedly on Dr. Simeon's finger, curled up instantly, falling to the floor.

"Aha!" the Doctor exclaimed, holding up the sonic in triumph. "I thought so! Possessing spiders, eh? Overflowing them with your own consciousness and wiping theirs out, very nice! Eyes and ears all over the city." He inclined his head towards his adversary. "Very neat."

Dr. Simeon nodded as well, accepting the Doctor's tribute. "The best-laid plans are the most obvious ones, and yet the easiest to miss."

"So that's how he got all the news for his magazine!" Amy jumped in. "The secret scoops and all that, the celebrities, he's using spiders." She stopped, seeming to realize what she'd said. "They were in our house!"

"I wouldn't think about it, if I were you," the Doctor advised, sitting down rather heavily on the desk. "Ugh. You'd think after a thousand years a person would be in shape." He pounded his chest, then grinned up at his friends. "Double the hearts, double the exercise, hey?"

Rory and Amy traded a glance, but said nothing. It was very unlike the Doctor to sit down at all - usually he was bounding around all over the place, particularly with questions still unanswered. And indeed, as they watched, he got up from the desk and began pacing the perimeter of the room.

"There is nothing you can do, Doctor," Dr. Simeon told him, watching his investigations. "Any attempt would be pure foolishness."

"Ah, I take pride in a little foolishness," the Doctor replied, halting by the back wall. "And so do you, apparently. Because if there's anything I know," he continued, not seeing the looks of confusion on his companions' faces and the controlled fury filling Dr. Simeon, "it's dimensional technology. TARDIS, y'see, bigger on the inside, all that. And this room…" He shook his head. "Something's not right."

"What do you mean?" Rory asked. The office looked perfectly normal to him. Dr. Simeon remained impassive, as if what the Doctor was saying were beneath his notice, but his eyes followed the Doctor's every move.

"The size isn't right," the Doctor explained, running a hand along the wall. "Don't you see? It's smaller on the inside. And there's no doors, not here or in the other room, so it's just these two. Unless you've got one hidden away somewhere…?" He glanced over at Dr. Simeon, who said nothing. "Or possibly this."

He raised the sonic screwdriver, scanning the length and height of the wall, as far as he could reach. Then, to Amy and Rory's astonishment, the wall seemed to simply melt away, revealing a room that reminded Amy vividly of a mad scientist's laboratory.

The Doctor turned to Dr. Simeon, raising an eyebrow. "Air that thinks it's a wall? Tricky. I'm almost impressed. Ooh!" He stepped up to a large vat full of a thick liquid, boiling away. "What's this?" Before anyone could protest, he stuck a finger in the goo, then licked it off. "Eurgh. Nasty."

"Doctor!" Amy cried. "You can't just do that! How do you know that's not the same stuff that knocked you out before?"

"Oh, it definitely is," the Doctor told her, scrubbing his tongue with his palm. "Just not meant to be ingested. What do you do, mix this into your scents before you ship them off? Oh, and look here!" He pointed to the vapors coiling off the vat. They seemed to stop, Rory noticed suddenly, as if hitting an invisible wall. "Air filter, see? Keeps the smell off. Clever. Very clever. But sloppy," he added, stepping into the darkened lab.

"Sloppy," Dr. Simeon repeated, faintly skeptical. "Do tell."

"No sonic filter on the wall or on your little spiders," the Doctor told him, bending over to examine a bubbling test tube. "Leaving a return address on the magazine. I understand trying to be normal, fly under the radar, but really. It's almost like you didn't think I was coming."

"Well, in fairness," Rory put in, "you didn't think you were coming either."

"Don't be fair to him," Amy hissed, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. "He's probably going to try and kill us or something."

"And there's one more thing," the Doctor added, his voice suddenly as cold and hard as either of his friends had ever heard it. "You hurt my friend. You tried to take away her freedom, her choice. And you were after more than that, weren't you? You wanted her humanity, her mind, just like you took it from that poor neighbor girl." He stepped towards Dr. Simeon, looking him right in the eyes. "And no one gets to do that. Not to her, not to anyone. Not while I'm around."

Dr. Simeon smiled mirthlessly. "Is that so. And you believe you can defend these people, do you? Room in your hearts for all of them?"

"They've never failed me before."

"Never had a heart failure? My my, we can't have you missing out on such a _life-changing_ experience, now can we?" His smile had real, sick pleasure in it now. Slowly, he raised a hand. "This form once belonged to a scientist, after all, and I know how much you enjoy learning." With a sudden jerk, Dr. Simeon closed his hand into a fist. Immediately, the Doctor collapsed to the ground, clutching his chest and groaning.

"Doctor!" Amy ran forward, but Dr. Simeon threw out his other hand. Rory grabbed her arm and held her back.

"Don't," he whispered urgently. "He can still do more damage, I think. Don't force his hand."

Dr. Simeon smiled at Rory, almost like a professor to a promising young student. "Very good. Caution is prudent." He looked down at the Doctor, writhing on the floor at his feet. "I do hope you will learn your lesson."

* * *

 **A.N:** **Hello again! Happy spring! Next week is spring break for me and we are going to New York, so probably won't be doing much writing for the next while. Also this week is midterms, which is why it took me so long to update this time. I'm almost done now, thankfully.**

 **Also, I need to apologize for something. As some of our more astute readers may have noticed, my story is now chronologically impossible. I realized at the beginning of this chapter that the Doctor does not meet Dr. Simeon until after the Ponds are gone. I'm not entirely sure how I missed this, but I have a few things in my defense: 1) I've never actually seen The Snowmen, so I'm going off clips and his appearance in The Name of the Doctor for his personality. 2) When I researched the Great Intelligence, I looked at the entity itself, rather than Dr. Simeon. So yes. 3) I foolishly assumed that specials come only at Christmas. Which basically means I didn't think about it enough.**

 **The point of all of this is to say that yes, I know, and it's irritating me a lot now that I've figured it out. However, because it's too late now to somehow change it, we're just going to keep going. It'll still be a good story, I think, and I'm not going to change it now, but just bear with me. Thanks for understanding :)**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	8. Life in the Balance

After watching the Doctor groan on the floor for a few moments more, Dr. Simeon opened his hand, releasing whatever pressure had held the Time Lord in his grasp. He stepped away into his laboratory, allowing Amy and Rory to rush forward to tend to their friend.

"Doctor, are you alright?" Amy grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him desperately. "Oh God, Doctor, tell me you're alright."

"Amy, grab the defibrillator," Rory commanded, taking the Doctor's pulse. "We need to-"

"No need," gasped the Doctor, shooing them away and sitting up with a groan. "I'm alright. Just - Just give me a minute."

Amy, certain the Doctor was in capable hands, stood up, glaring at Dr. Simeon. "What did you do to him?" she demanded. "What the hell have you done?"

"Did you trying think you could play with my plans and escape unscathed?" Dr. Simeon scoffed. "Don't be absurd."

"What's plans?" Dr. Simeon only laughed. Amy stalked over to him, hands on her hips. "Listen, mister, you've done something to my friend here, and I'm not having that. I might not be a Time Lord or anything special, but _you-"_ She jabbed a finger into the scientist's chest. "-do not want to mess with me."

Rory, distracted from the Doctor for the moment, debated applauding, but decided against it. He looked away, hiding his pride and amusement.

"The fire in your heart matches that of your hair," Dr. Simeon observed, stepping coolly away. "As for your _friend…"_ He laughed, the sound hard. "Did you truly believe you could shake off the effects of my chemicals do easily? That, having tasted what you are, what you have, I would let you go?"

"Let what go?" Amy asked, anger and confusion written all over her face.

"He's the Great Intelligence," the Doctor explained, heaving himself off the floor with a gasp. "A mind without a body, and that's all he is. I thought you were stealing their minds," he said to the impassive Dr. Simeon, "but that's not it at all, you've already got plenty of that. No, what you need," he continued, staggering over to him, "is what you haven't got."

"A body?" Rory volunteered. The Doctor glanced at him briefly.

"No, bodies are easy, bodies are nothing, I should know," he answered, gripping the worktable tightly to keep himself on his feet. "The other bits are tricky. The mind, you've got," he continued, addressing Dr. Simeon, but you're missing the rest. The heart, the soul, the… _humanity."_

"Humanity," Dr. Simeon scoffed. "What need have I with humanity, Doctor? It is life I desire, life itself!"

"Rubbish," the Doctor told him, almost laughing. "Utter rubbish, because if you just wanted their lives, they'd be dead. All those people you're stealing from. And is it really so far-fetched? Look at you!" he cried, gesturing to the man in front of him. "The Great Intelligence. Used to be just a consciousness, floating around attaching yourself to whatever you could. And now you've got this nice _human_ body, but you're still missing the thing that makes humans what they are."

"Okay, but what's that got to do with you, Doctor?" Amy asked, looking from one man to the next. "How did he-" She broke off, not really sure how to finish her sentence.

"He messed with his hearts," Rory jumped in awkwardly. "The Doctor's, I mean. Slowed them down, stopped them beating here and there. It almost felt like…" He hesitated, medical knowledge failing him. "It felt like his life was draining away."

"Basically," the Doctor admitted, swaying slightly. "He was after humanity, and I-"

"And your friend here had none to spare." Dr. Simeon stepped up to the Doctor, looking him up and down, putting the few inches he had over the Doctor to good use. "What a curious thing you are, Doctor," he said softly, gripping the Time Lord's chin in one gloved hand. "I'd love the opportunity to… _study_ you further." His icy smile had become a leer.

"A very kind offer, but I think I'll pass this time around," the Doctor said with a grin, ducking out of the other man's hold.

"Hold on a minute," Amy interrupted. "Doctor, did he say he was sucking away your life?"

" _Is_ ," Rory corrected her quietly, watching their friend carefully. "He _is_ sucking away his life. The connection's still there. I'm right, aren't I, Doctor?" he called, but the Doctor acted as though he hadn't heard.

"What I think," the Doctor said instead, dashing into the laboratory as though trying to prove his health, "is that I'm going to have to do something about this stuff." He poked the edge of the vat containing Dr. Simeon's chemical solution, then glanced over at him. "You must know I'm not going to let you keep this."

"And you will stop me?" Dr. Simeon shook his head, almost disappointed. "I've been planning for this a long time, Doctor," he told him. "An irregularity like you is easy enough to fix."

"Fix?" Amy repeated. "What do you mean?"

Instead of answering, Dr. Simeon snapped his fingers. Almost instantly, the young receptionist opened the office door.

"Yes, Dr. S?" he asked, seemingly unfazed by the suddenly visible laboratory.

"Are our forces mobilized?"

"Forces, what forces?" the Doctor demanded.

"Yes, Dr. S," the young man answered, ignoring the Doctor's question.

"Excellent. And how long until they arrive?"

"Moments only, sir." The receptionist pointed towards the one small window. Trading a glance, Amy, Rory, and the Doctor all raced to the window. The Doctor arrived last, panting, and shoved in between his friends.

"Oh my God," Amy said quietly. The street outside was full of people, mostly young women and teens, standing completely still with the same blank look in their eyes as the trio had seen in Molly's not long before.

"All of them," she said, dumbfounded. "He's got them all in his control."

The Doctor said nothing, but dashed away from the window into the workshop where Dr. Simeon waited.

"Okay," Rory said, trying to stay calm. "Alright. Army of possessed people. No problem."

"Oh, I'd say this is a bit of a problem," Amy hissed. "What're we going to do?"

"Well, it's just a group of girls, mostly," he pointed out logically. "Can't be that hard."

"Excuse me?"

"Actually," the Doctor called, "Amy might be right. When the Great Intelligence possessed Dr. Simeon - the actual human one - he became much stronger than normal. Really, there's no telling what these ladies could do."

Amy nodded curtly to her husband, acknowledging her victory, before suddenly realizing again their situation. So we're surrounded now, is that what you're saying?"

"Well, that's one way to put it," the Doctor admitted, pulling out his sonic screwdriver. "I prefer to think of it as 'in good company.'" He flashed her a lopsided grin.

Amy spun away from the window, striding over to where the Doctor was fiddling with some wires. "So what's the plan?" she asked him. "You have got a plan, haven't you?"

"Doesn't he always?" Dr. Simeon cut in before the Doctor had a chance to answer. He laughed. "Look at him, always scheming, always plotting, always looking for a way out."

"Something wrong with that?" the Doctor asked, pulling out his sonic screwdriver. "It's kept me alive so far."

"Mmm. So far, indeed. Perhaps a little reminder of what keeps me alive."

Again he clenched his hand, and the Doctor doubled over, groaning and clutching his chest. Amy and Rory watched in horrified silence as the Doctor flatly refused to sink to the floor.

"You're not alive," he gasped, forcing the words out one at a time. "You never have been, and you never will be, no matter how hard you try. You might be living, any old fool can do that. But being alive takes so much more. A heart, and a soul. You've got to love living for it's own sake, and _you_ never will. You see only power, and control. Taking and taking and never giving, that's not being alive. You won't ever be alive!"

At the last word, Dr. Simeon's face darkened, and he raised his hand higher. The Doctor began to turn red, but he kept his eyes fixed on his tormentor's.

"Take Amy, for instance," he choked out. "You stole from her one of the most important things that makes her human - her freedom to choose her own life, make her own mistakes, but even so, here she is. Taking you down and loving every second of it."

"Maybe not every second," Amy muttered, smiling, eyes suddenly wet.

"Enough!" the scientist shouted, his voice ringing in the sudden silence. He whipped around, staring at Amy.

After a long, tense moment, Dr. Simeon let the Doctor go. The pressure released, he crashed to the floor and lay, unnaturally still.

* * *

 **A.N: Hello again, dears. Did you miss me while I was away? I hope so. I had a wonderful week in New York, and actually got a new phone right before I left _which has Google Docs_ so I actually did a lot of writing in such auspicious places as various subways and the Empire State Building. You know. Whatever. But this means that not only do I have this story finished, I've got the first three chapters of the next as well. I have not posted anything else yet, because that would mean letting you off the hook suspense-wise, and we can't have that, but I will lay out my schedule: I will post the next two chapters of this story within this week, every other day (so Tuesday and Thursday). From there I will let you know about the next one, which is WHOLOCK! Be excited.**

 **Anyway, thank you for the reviews/favorites/etc. I recieved while I was away. Nothing brightens an evening more, and it was a tremendous motivation for me. You know what to do :)**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	9. Have a Heart

Amy put her hands over her mouth, eyes wide, staring at the motionless Doctor.

Rory, however, was never one to lose his head in a crisis. Seizing the defibrillator, he dashed towards his fallen friend, but stopped short at Dr. Simeon's next words.

"Amy Pond."

It was said in a whisper, almost a caress. Rory stiffened, the sound sending chills down his spine.

"It's never 'Williams,' is it? Interesting. Why is that?" Dr. Simeon walked slowly up to her, every step deliberate. "Or perhaps you'd rather that stay quiet."

To her eternal credit in her husband's eyes, Amy did not flush. "I don't see that it's any business of yours what I do with my name," she said coolly.

"Perhaps not." He stepped past her, walking a slow circle around her, taking in every inch. Amy kept her eyes fixed firmly ahead of her, carefully not following the man's movements.

Rory glanced at the Doctor, still collapsed on the floor. He was beginning to breath now, Rory saw with relief, although slowly. He knew every second was crucial, but the thought of his wife in danger held him back. In his indecision, he made some small movement. Instantly, Dr. Simeon threw out a hand.

"Do not come near her!" he barked. Amy flinched.

 _Her,_ Rory repeated mentally. _Don't come near_ her _._ Well, that simplified things. With an apologetic glance at his wife, Rory hefted the defibrillator and hurried to the Doctor's side.

"What do you want with me?" Amy demanded, lifting her chin.

"Ah, Amy. You're the one that got away," Dr. Simeon murmured. "Surely you know that intelligence loves a challenge. How did you do it? Resisted my traps, shunned my little spies…"

"What, like it was hard?" Amy shook her head. "I'm scared of spiders, idiot. Next time don't pick a creature from hell."

Rory shook his head, grinning in spite of everything as he charged up the paddles. "Amy," he called, "don't ever change."

"Not planning on it," she replied tartly.

"Ah, but isn't it funny how plans go awry?" Dr. Simeon said, chuckling mirthlessly. "Fortunately for me, however, I can still salvage mine. Come, Miss Pond. I've something to show you."

He walked slowly towards the fallen Doctor and Rory, who rubbed the paddles together with a little more desperation. It was just his luck - this particular machine hadn't been in use in years, and had taken some time to come to life.

"Do you see, dear Amelia, how futile the endeavor is?" Dr. Simeon asked, pretending sympathy. "Trying so hard to claw his way back into life, time after time. Do you ever get tired, Doctor? Perhaps I can set you free."

To Rory's relief and astonishment, the Doctor's eyes began to flicker open, seemingly in response to the question. Quickly Rory felt for a heartbeat - and found only one.

"Come on," he whispered, shaking the defibrillator in frustration. "You can do it."

But Dr. Simeon saw him. With an agility beyond his age, he kicked Rory side, sending him sprawling. "Perhaps it is better to lack a heart," he said coldly. "Mercy is a tiresome thing."

Once more he raised his hand, his eyes hard and cold. Rory was certain that this time, he wouldn't be letting the Doctor go. Dr. Simeon's fist closed.

"First the Doctor, then his friends!" he cried triumphantly. "A day of victory for the Great Intelligence!"

He got no further, however, because Amy hit him soundly on the back of the head with a desk lamp.

Despite the repeated assertions that this body was merely a form, Dr. Simeon staggered forward, tripping over the prone Doctor and landing hard on the floor.

"Hurry up!" Amy cried, gesturing towards the fallen defibrillator. She glanced at the Doctor, who had begun to twitch.

Without wasting another second, Rory lunged to his feet, snatching up the finally-charged defibrillator on the way. Rubbing the paddles together one last time, he ripped open the Doctor's shirt. "Clear!" he shouted, and slapped the paddles on the Time Lord's bare chest.

The Doctor's eyes flew open and he cried out in pain. Ignoring him, Rory felt again for a heartbeat, and again felt only one. Grimly, he began charging the paddles again.

Unbeknownst to the Ponds, Dr. Simeon had by now recovered enough to get to his feet again. He grabbed Amy by the hair, forcing her head back.

"Rory!" she screamed.

"Amy!" The Doctor tried to sit up, but Rory held him down.

"Not yet, Doctor," he said firmly, focusing on one crisis at a time. "You'll only make it worse." He glanced over his shoulder and saw Amy beginning to go pale. Her eyes seemed to drain of life, slowly becoming more and more like the army outside.

Dr. Simeon laughed. "Now what, Doctor? Your precious friend you swore to protect, turned against you." He let Amy go and she swayed on the spot, her eyes blank and dull. "The wife, turned against her husband. What now?"

Rory stared at her in anguish, desperate to help but at a loss for how. To his surprise, a hand reached up to grab his collar. The Doctor pulled him down, Rory's ear close to his mouth.

"We've got to break the connection," he whispered urgently. "The chemicals-"

"Still plotting, Doctor?" Dr. Simeon roared. "You never learn." He clenched his hand again, driving the Doctor to the floor. When Rory reached frantically for the defibrillator again, he placed a hand on Amy's shoulder. "Stop him," he told her quietly. "At any cost."

Slowly, woodenly, Amy began to move, stepping towards her desperate husband.

"I'd be careful, if I were you," Dr. Simeon cautioned them, watching with undisguised glee. "How can you be sure that breaking the connection, as you said, won't sever the last ties these poor souls have to their humanity?"

"Will they?" Rory asked, scooting away from Amy's advance. Dr. Simeon merely cocked his head, his gaze calculating.

"Are you willing to take that risk to find out?"

Rory bent over the Doctor, charging the machine again. "We can't risk it, Doctor," he whispered. "Not if it means they - if she will stay like this."

The Doctor started up at him, too groggy and pain-drunk to respond, but his eyes widened.

"Right," Rory muttered. "Lot of help you are."

Dr. Simeon stood over them, watching Rory's last attempt with a sick delight. Amy was drawing ever closer, and Rory was all too conscious that any second he might be forced into confrontation. The outside group, he heard dimly, had reached the little building and were pounding on the walls and windows.

"Come on, Doctor," he whispered, raising the charged defibrillator. "Now or never."

But just before the paddles touched the Doctor's chest, he lunged forward, seizing the paddles from a startled Rory. In a last-ditch effort, he surged to his feet, slapping the paddles directly into the chest of the watching Dr. Simeon.

The scientist let out an unearthly scream. He sank to his knees, arms flailing wildly. Rory, stunned, grabbed the swaying Doctor under the arms and hauled him out of the way. Together they watched in astonishment as the form of Dr. Simeon simply dissolved, floating away until nothing could be seen of him, until there was nothing to show he'd ever been there at all.

* * *

 **A.N: Hello again! Back as I promised. I enjoyed writing this chapter tremendously, and I hope you had as much fun reading it. Just one more chapter after this, and then we're done! I will miss these three, I admit. Amy and Rory together are a joy.**

 **Some of you might have noticed that I totally lied about posting the Wholock. Chapter 1 is now up, with the next to follow tomorrow, so if you're interested, it's called Elysium and you can probably find it most easily on my profile. I'm pretty excited about it, if you haven't guessed.**

 **I think that's all I've got for today. As ever, I would love to hear from you all telling me what you think! Don't you just love a climax?**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


	10. I'm Still Alive

"Well," the Doctor said breathlessly. "That was an adventure." He picked himself up off the floor, pleased to find the effects of Dr. Simeon's control already disappearing.

Rory's attention, however, was fixed on Amy. As soon as the last traces of Dr. Simeon had disappeared, the blank look had disappeared from her eyes, leaving her dazed and confused. She put one hand to her head, looking around.

"Rory?"

"I'm here." He hurried to her side, just in time to catch her as she collapsed into his arms. "Hey, it's okay, I've got you."

"Oh, Rory." She buried her face in his shoulder, hugging him tightly. He stepped her hair gently, whispering softly in her ear.

The Doctor smiled at the couple, then turned away, heading for the window. "Oh, that's better," he murmured, seeing the many people gathered outside returning to themselves, confused but unharmed. "All as it should be." He sighed contentedly.

"Hold on, where's he gone?" Amy asked suddenly. "Dr. Simeon, what happened to him?" The Doctor smiled, then turned around.

"He's gone," Rory was explaining. "Just sort of… disappeared, into nothing."

"His form dissolved," the Doctor corrected him. "Permission to hug, Mr. Williams?"

"Permission granted, but I'm standing right here."

The Doctor grinned, enveloped Amy in a hug. "It's alright," he said. "I promise."

"I know," she replied softly. "Of course." She pulled away and patted his cheek. "Thank you."

The Doctor smiled and kissed her forehead. "No trouble at all."

"So what happened to him, then?" Rory asked. "How did he… dissolve?"

"Oh, it was simple, really," the Doctor explained, rubbing his hands together. "I did the same thing he did to me, only backwards. See?"

"Er, no," Rory admitted. "Not at all. Give us a bit more?"

The Doctor sighed. "Dr. Simeon was controlling me by draining my humanity, right? Except I don't have any humanity, so he made do with the next best thing - my life force. He didn't really need that, of course, just as a power play."

"And a decent one, too," Amy commented wryly. The Doctor flashed her a grin.

"Yes, quite. I may have underestimated him a bit," he admitted with a shrug. "Ah well."

"So what's that got to do with this?" Rory asked, determined to get answers.

"Yes, I'm getting to that. So, when I hit him with the defibrillator, it was meant to restart his heart, yes? But how do you restart something that isn't there, that was never stayed in the first place?" He shrugged, rather pleased with himself. "Add to that the fact that a brain essentially runs on electricity, and voila. Extra pulse to his form overloaded the system and led to a breakdown." He took a deep, dramatic bow. "Thank you, thank you."

"He needed a heart after all," Amy murmured. Then she laughed. "Well, serves him right."

"That's how he did in the spiders, too," he added, slinging an arm over each of their shoulders. "Stole all the spidery-ness out of them and replaced it with Great Intelligence. Tried to do that with you lot too, but humans are _much_ more complicated than arachnids."

"Thanks, I think." Amy shook her head, grinning.

"Now, I'm going to have to do something about this," he muttered, detangling himself from his friend and dashing into the laboratory to inspect the still-steaming vat of chemicals. "Pick it up in the TARDIS later, maybe give it to the Sisterhood of Karn, they like that sort of thing."

"But, hold on. Is he gone?" Rory asked. "Dr. Simeon, I mean."

"For now, absolutely," the Doctor told him, dropping to the floor and pulling out his sonic screwdriver. "For good…" He scanned the area where Dr. Simeon had stood. "I don't think so. He's been scattered, yes, but not destroyed. Should take him a good long time to regroup, though." He grinned up at them. "Not bad for a day of work."

Amy smiled back, offering him a hand up. "Not bad at all. Come on, Raggedy Man. Let's go home."

She headed outside to the car, not once looking back. Rory, however, hesitated.

"Are the other Amys still going to be there?" he asked the Doctor, watching his wife head outside. "At home?"

"I certainly wouldn't think so," the Doctor reassured him. "His connections are gone. She's back to one timeline now." He shrugged, grinning. "Apparently this was the most probable of them all."

Rory shook his head, grinning as well. "This is what's probable for us. Only with you, Doctor."

"I have that effect on people." He began to leave, sensing that Rory wasn't quite done and not sure he wanted to hear what he knew was coming.

"Er, Doctor," Rory began. "What he said, about the broken connection, and then losing their link to humanity…"

The Doctor stopped, smiling sadly. Expecting the question didn't make it any easier. "How was I sure he was lying?" Slowly he turned around, looking Rory in the eye. "I wasn't."

"You weren't? But-"

"I had to take the risk," he said, almost impatiently. "There was no other option."

"But they could have stayed like that!" Rory protested. "Amy, everyone outside… How would you explain it? Oh no, I forgot," he added, "you never stick around long enough to explain things, do you? Hop off in your magic box and leave them to pick up the pieces?"

"Rory-" The Doctor rubbed his eyes wearily.

"And I know," Rory continued, talking over his friend, "that I've done it too, when we go off adventuring, and I haven't said anything, but-"

"Rory!" Rory subsided at the Doctor's exclamation. "I know it was a risk, I do. But someone had to make the choice."

"Why you, then?" Rory demanded. "Who gave you the right to decide that, gave you authority over humanity? You're not even human!"

"No, but I've put a lot of work into you lot, I've got a vested interest. Besides," he added, more seriously, "if not me, who else?"

Rory had no answer to that.

"You've got your Amy back," the Doctor told him. "All I did was give everyone else their Amys back too."

After a long moment, Rory nodded, though he still looked unhappy. The Doctor clapped him on the back.

"Come on, Mr. Pond," he said with a grin. "Never good to keep the Mrs. waiting."

* * *

"I love traveling with you, Doctor, I really do," Amy said as they walked in the front door, "but it is incredibly good to be home."

Rory nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

"Yes, I suppose so," the Doctor said breezily. "Now. Where to next?"

The two traded glances. "Actually," Rory said hesitantly, "d'you mind if we stay home awhile? Life is busy at the moment, and-"

"Say no more," said the Doctor agreeably, "I understand completely. After all," he added with a wink to Rory, "I've got some cleanup to do."

Grinning at them both, he dashed into the living room where the TARDIS still stood. Maneuvering his way around the furniture, he pushed open the door. "See you soon, Ponds," he called with a grin.

"Doctor-" Amy started to say something, then broke off. He waited, hanging half out of the blue box. At last she shook her head. "Don't you ever get tired of almost dying?"

He laughed. "Never."

"Why not?"

The Doctor spread his arms wide, grinning. "Because, my dear Amelia," he said, a wink in his eye, "I'm still alive."

Moments later, the TARDIS door was shut, and Amy and Rory were blasted back by the wind of dematerialization. Amy smiled and took Rory's hand, and together they went back to live their lives until the Doctor once more came to call.

* * *

 **A.N: Hello for the last time, my dears! This story is now complete, and sad as I am to see it go, I'm fully ready to move on to some new things! Specifically my Wholock story Elysium, which several of you have already been kind enough to look at. Much appreciated! I do hope you found this a satisfying conclusion to this story. It was a lot of fun and, honestly, one of the fluffier things I've ever written. That is, I promise, about to change. [Insert evil laugh...]**

 **Anyway, thank you all so so so much for staying with me all the way to the end. Your reviews are always a delight, and it still sort of blows my mind to see how many people are reading what I write. I am humbly grateful, and continue to be. Thank you all so much, and farewell until we meet again!**

 **-Forever the Optimist**


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